Title: trifles look so trivial as soon as you have come
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Dickinson
Warnings: future!fic for Glee; AU
Pairings: post-Kurt/Blaine, pre-Kurt/Puck
Point of view: third
Notes: for the prompt I kind of want Kurt's crush on Puck to turn into love that saves Puck from being "a monster. A jackass and a bully and pure evil incarnate." And them vanquishing evil together. This is not exactly that.
Kurt’s whitelighter is named Fredricka. Kurt calls her Fred. Noah calls her that angel bitch; she calls Noah that demon bastard.
Needless to say, they don’t get along so well.
Fred first showed up a week after Kurt’s eighteenth birthday. She pretended to be a student at McKinley and tried to covertly follow Kurt around. Unfortunately for her, Kurt had become an expert at knowing when he was being stalked, thanks to years of bullying and then Karofsky.
So he confronted Fred after lunch the second day and politely asked her what she thought she was doing.
Fred lied. Kurt knew she lied. Said she was just fascinated by his clothing choices and wondered how he made it work. Kurt quietly informed her that while he was flattered at her interest, he was gay. Fred replied that she knew.
She kept following him. She was tiny, no taller than Rachel, with light brown skin and dark brown eyes. Her hair was dyed bright purple, she wore horribly unfashionable outfits, and she was there every time he looked over his shoulder.
Fred didn’t feel dangerous; his magic had no problem with her. She never threatened him. She was just always there, for two weeks and three days.
Then Puck came back. That night, he took Kurt to a private place and they both showed off. The next day, he showed up for glee, sprawled over the chair next to Kurt, and followed him home again.
That night, after Finn and Dad and Carole went to sleep, Puck teleported into his room and asked, “You have a problem with demons?”
Kurt blinked up at him. “Um, not yet. If they keep interrupting my rest, I might.”
Puck grinned. “Budge over, Hummel,” he said, shoving at Kurt.
Rolling his eyes, Kurt did.
On Thursday, as Puck threw fire at him and Kurt tried to either catch it in a whirlwind or put it out with a splash of water, Fred appeared in a sparkle of light.
“Kurt!” she shrieked, lunging for him. “He’s a demon!”
Puck growled, slashing his hand at her; she went flying, vanishing in the sparklies and reappearing at Kurt’s side. “Don’t touch him!” Puck yelled. “He’s mine.”
Fred gaped, and then Kurt dodged her renewed attempt to grab him.
“You’re a whitelighter!” he said accusingly. “I thought you were just a stalker.”
Fred blinked at him. “You know about whitelighters?” she asked.
Kurt sighed, crossing his arms. “Of course I know about whitelighters,” he said. “Mom left me a letter explaining everything.”
Fred shared a surprised glance with Puck as Kurt continued, “Mom told me about demons, too.”
“And you,” Fred asked hesitantly, “you know this boy is a demon?”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “Of course puck is a demon. Like he’d be anything else.”
“But,” Fred said, while Puck grinned. “You’re a witch. And he’s a demon. You can’t be friends, much less—do you know what happened the last time a witch and a demon got together?”
All humor left Puck’s face and his hands clenched. Fred gasped, flinching back, and fire roared all over Puck’s body.
“Noah!” Kurt snapped, tossing water onto him. “She doesn’t know. She’s supposed to help me, and she won’t be able to if you kill her.”
Fred collapsed, trying and failing to orb out. Kurt put his hand on Puck’s shoulder, leaning in close. “You didn’t mean to,” he murmured, “but last night you shared my dreams.”
Puck turned to face him. “What?”
Fred tried to orb out again; this time, Kurt grabbed her. The Elders would not get their hands on Puck. No way, no how, not ever.
“I know your story, Noah,” he said. “About your parents, about—Peter.”
Puck sucked in a breath and Fred mumbled something through the stranglehold. “You… Kurt, what?” Puck whispered.
Kurt said, “You heard me. I could’ve kicked you out this morning, or banished you, or vanquished you. I found Mom’s spellbook last week. But you’re Puck. You were a jackass for years, but you’re also the eight-year-old who gave me a bouquet of handpicked daises when Mom died. You left, hoping to find out you’re more than a monster, and you came back to make sure I wasn’t alone.”
Puck just stared at him. Kurt said, “You’re not a monster, Noah Puckerman. You’re just a scared, confused teenager like the rest of us.”
Finally, Puck released his grip on Fred’s vocal cords. She took a deep breath and Kurt slashed a vicious glare at her. She looked down.
Kurt said, “We will work this out like the responsible, powerful adults we are.” To Fred, he commanded, “Orb to my room.” To Puck he said, “Take me home.”
As Fred prepared to leave, Kurt added, “Tell the Elders nothing, Miss Fredricka.”
Her mouth dropped open. “You’re fraternizing with a demon!”
Kurt’s temper snapped. A storm billowed around him and he snarled, “No, you flittering gnat. I’m spending time with a childhood acquaintance who will probably become more soon.”
She whimpered and quickly said, “I’ll go straight to your room, I promise!”
Kurt nodded, taking Puck’s hand, threading their fingers. “Home, please,” he murmured.
Puck lifted their entwined hands to his lips, kissing Kurt’s knuckles, and the world swirled around them, resolving into Kurt’s room and a cringing whitelighter.
“Oh, stop,” Kurt said, stepping away from Puck. “Neither of us would actually hurt you, Fred.”
Puck scoffed. “’lessin you threaten my boy, or talk about things you’d better not talk about.”
“I would never threaten my charge,” Fred hissed. “You’re more likely to hurt him, demon.”
“Half-demon,” Kurt corrected, reaching back to squeeze Puck’s hand. “No one’s come home, right? “
Puck shook his head, teeth clenched.
“Fine, then. I’ll throw together a quick meal and we’ll discuss this like rational adults. Understood?”
“Yes,” Fred said. Puck nodded.
Wonderful. Sulking like small children. Kurt rolled his eyes (again!) and shoved Puck in front of him, ignoring Fred as she brought up the rear.
Puck loomed in the doorway. Fred perched on a chair. Kurt sang to himself as he prepared dinner, ignoring them both.
Once he was done, he served three plates and ordered them to eat. Kurt carried the conversation, talking about classes and glee and his plans for the future.
“I’m going to New York,” he said. “You’ll both come with me, of course. Fred, do you have any other charges?”
Fred looked up from her mostly empty plate, shocked at finally being allowed to speak. “Um, no,” she said after a moment. “You’re my first. I… you’re a Mortana, and a powerful one, at that. I was supposed to shadow you, befriend you, and then go wherever you went.”
“So, you’ll need a room in my New York townhouse.” Kurt made a mental note. “Puck will share mine.”
Fred and Puck shared a glance again, before remembering they hated each other, glaring, and looking away.
“Now,” Kurt said. “Fred, Puck is mine. I’m keeping him. The Elders should leave him alone. You will not mention him as anything but my boon companion.”
Puck looked bemused as Kurt turned to him. “Do you have any problems with my proposal?”
“No, dude,” he said, shaking his head. “But, could you…” He hesitated, dropping his gaze to his plate.
“What, Puck?” Kurt asked gently.
“Call me Noah,” he mumbled. “I like when you call me Noah.”
Kurt smiled, bouncing in place. Even Fred smothered a quick grin.
“So,” Kurt continued, unable to keep his happiness from his face or tone, “I’m a witch, and my father is a mortal. Fred, you’re a whitelighter. And Noah is half-witch, half-demon. We are going to live peacefully because Fred’s whole purpose is to keep me safe and Noah’s my boyfriend.” He paused to sip his lemonade and they waited silently.
Good. They were learning.
“I’ll protect both of you, and you will look out for each other, and me, when I allow it.” They both frowned at that. Kurt ignored them. “I don’t care if you like each other, but you’ll be civil and not make life more difficult than it has to be.”
He paused again, waiting until he met both their gazes. “Do you understand?”
“Yes,” Fred said.
Noah said, “Boyfriend?”
Kurt blushed. “If you want?”
Noah teleported from his chair to kneeling by Kurt, and he surged up to kiss him. Kurt pulled him close, made another mental note to thank Blaine for all the practicing, and gasped into the kiss, “My bed.”
“Good idea,” Noah groaned and tumbled them onto Kurt’s fancy comforter.
Noah and Fred will never admit that they’re friends. Fred will never confess to covering with the Elders and Noah will never tell anyone he destroyed the half a dozen darklighters attempting to stalk her.
Fred and Noah have no problems working together for Kurt’s benefit, keeping his life as normal as possible, and Fred will not ever tell a single soul what she knows about who Noah Puckerman might have been.