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So, have you ever been in an environment where people keep praising someone who failed you utterly and never even considered acknowledging it? Who not only failed you, but almost seemed to actively betray you? Who consistently did not do even the minimum of supporting or guiding you and then just - let you fall.

The person they continually praise is someone you never met. But they talk about her and suggest others go to her for guidance, and you have to bite your tongue because to speak of what happened will reflect badly on you - not her. It feels like nails on a chalkboard every time she's brought up but all you can do is sit there, fists clenched in your lap, and try to think of something else.

You can't warn anybody. It feels like as much of a failure as when you learned, miles from home, that she had betrayed you.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
classics_lover
Mar. 9th, 2017 09:53 pm (UTC)
Are people talking up that utter plank of a supervisor you had before? Because it's perfectly acceptable to say that your experience with her wasn't positive or helpful, and that you prefer to leave her behind you. You can warn people if you want to. I warned people who were thinking about taking her Spartacus seminar in 3rd Yeaar, where the entirety of the course was watching the Kirk Douglas Spartacus movie and the Spartacus ballet and a 5,000 word essay that she gave zero guidance on.

I hated her, and she was ambivalent at best towards me, and sadly, after doing all I could to avoid her (she had a reputation for not wanting to actually teach - I experienced this in 1st year undergrad when she taught the Pelopponesian War & Thucydides) had her teaching me Classical Greek for one semester and she literally said to my face "Oh, you won't pass the Greek language exams, you'd better focus on your thesis instead" when my thesis focused big time on the translations of the Phaedo into English from the Greek. And I make no bones about hating Urbainczyk because she never taught me a thing.

Feel free to throw her under the bus. If you do it calmly it won't look like you're throwing shade out of nowhere.

*hugs*
trendykitty
Mar. 10th, 2017 01:45 am (UTC)
I'v been there. It's horrible. I'm so sorry you're dealing with it :(
noybusiness
Mar. 10th, 2017 06:39 am (UTC)
I agree with Classics Lover. Sharing that your experience with her was negative will not reflect badly on you. She failed to meet deadlines she needed to meet in order to get your thesis through. That can only reflect badly on her. You're in a position to know what you're talking about more intimately than any of these other people, and the people you'd be talking to should be wise enough to recognize that. If you feel like you need to make it more palatable, you can say that she may be good at other things but she's an unreliable person to have as an advisor. There is absolutely no reason you should have to keep silent or feel like a failure.

Edited at 2017-03-10 06:40 am (UTC)
bugeyedmonster
Mar. 11th, 2017 02:10 am (UTC)
Seconding what Noybusiness and Classics_lover said.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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