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all souls pass - SN fic - PG

Title: all souls pass
Fandom: “Supernatural”
Disclaimer: not my characters; just for fun. Title from “Into the West”
Warnings: spoilers for everything aired
Pairings: mentions of John/Mary
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 500
Point of view: third
 
 
            John thinks sometimes, and hates himself for it, that life would have been so much easier if Sam died with Mary.
            He knows that sentiment shows itself every now and again in his dealings with Sam, in the impatience and anger; Sam doesn’t understand, and he’s too much like his father. He strikes back just as hard and just as fast, leaving Dean to pick up the pieces.
            Dean. He is his mother’s son, caring and compassionate, with the patience of a mountain when it comes to his family. He loves John, and he loves Sam—and he’ll be there, at the end, come what may.
            He’ll be there, when Sam turns. John wishes he didn’t know, but he can’t forget. It’s happening, steadily, Sam darkening more by the day. He can’t help it, and it’s not his fault; none of them asked for this, not John or Mary, and certainly not Sammy. 
            But there’s nothing for it. If Sam lives, the world dies. He’ll lead the army, then rule the Earth, an absolute monarch, Hell’s chosen boy. And if John knows, it won’t be long before the rest of the hunters learn.
            Hell’s losing patience.
            If Sam lives… but John can’t kill him. He loves his baby boy too much, the boy Mary died to save.
            John can’t kill him, but someone has to. Before it’s too late, before he’s too far gone, too far out of reach. 
            Hunters would line up for the chance, if they knew what was coming, what Sam will create. But John can’t do that. Refuses. 
            And then there is no more time, Dean on the brink and Sam’s furypain lashing at the world. John can feel it building, more by the moment as Dean lies there, unconscious and dying.
            Dean—Mary’s firstborn, Mary’s light still shining in a darkened, hollow world.
            John understands in a sudden flash. If Sam keeps Dean, maybe… maybe he won’t turn, won’t become what Hell, what Mary’s killer wants. Hell can’t touch him directly, can’t destroy him—John’s learned that, and he doesn’t know why.
            Dean must live. He may be the final, last hope. But he has to know.
            It hurts John to do it, but he tells Dean the truth. Everything. The horror in Dean’s eyes cuts at him, and he tries smiling, tries lending Dean strength. He’ll need it for the days ahead.
            Dean’ll live. He’ll live for Sam. Do everything he can for his little brother. It’s all John’s taught him to do. And he’s always done it gladly. Willingly. Without complaining, without asking why.
            John never did a thing worth being gifted with Mary or Dean, and he loves them both so much—and Sam. Sam. 
            He goes to meet Mary’s killer with a lightened heart, because he’s leaving Dean behind, healed and whole, healthy and informed.
            John doesn’t think for a moment Dean could kill Sam, or would, even if the world hung in the balance.
            But Dean will live. That’s enough.

Comments

( 33 comments — Leave a comment )
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iamstealthyone
Nov. 22nd, 2007 03:46 pm (UTC)
John doesn’t think for a moment Dean could kill Sam, or would, even if the world hung in the balance.

But Dean will live. That’s enough.


Oh, Winchesters.

Good look at John's thoughts regarding both his boys.
tigriswolf
Nov. 22nd, 2007 04:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
(Anonymous)
Nov. 22nd, 2007 04:07 pm (UTC)
Excellent, as always. I've always thought John might wonder sometimes how their lives would have been without Sam. It's not Sam's fault, but Azazel came because of him.
tigriswolf
Nov. 22nd, 2007 04:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading!
caffienekitty
Nov. 22nd, 2007 05:22 pm (UTC)
Exactly. *nods* John did it because the only thing that can save the world from Sam is Dean. And he'll do it by saving Sam. *puts a big red "CANON" stamp on your fic* Well done.
tigriswolf
Nov. 22nd, 2007 05:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!
weesta
Nov. 22nd, 2007 05:32 pm (UTC)
Lovely and aching. I'm totally on board with But Dean will live. That’s enough.

Right ON!
tigriswolf
Nov. 22nd, 2007 05:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
may7fic
Nov. 23rd, 2007 12:22 am (UTC)
But Dean will live. That’s enough.

Dean is the way to Sam's salvation and vice versa, I'm sure of it. Lovely insight into John's thoughts.

Thank-you.


tigriswolf
Nov. 23rd, 2007 03:18 am (UTC)
Thank _you_ for reading!
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Nov. 23rd, 2007 03:58 am (UTC) - Expand
layne67
Nov. 23rd, 2007 02:28 am (UTC)
That has always been my thoughts on why John did what he did.
tigriswolf
Nov. 23rd, 2007 03:19 am (UTC)
Thank you for reading!
bowtrunckle
Nov. 23rd, 2007 09:19 am (UTC)
I love John-centric fics that center around boy angst.

I've always thought John was more calculating and measured than we ever saw. It's nice to read a piece where his desperation and love meld with the hunter/father. :)
tigriswolf
Nov. 23rd, 2007 06:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading!
paleogymnast
Nov. 23rd, 2007 10:16 am (UTC)
Damn. That's just wow and awesome, and probably everything John would think. *hugs* Love it! :)
tigriswolf
Nov. 23rd, 2007 06:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!
lady_macbeth_13
Nov. 23rd, 2007 01:41 pm (UTC)
Oh John... it's stories like these that give reason to your asshole-iness. Beautiful insight into John's plight.
tigriswolf
Nov. 23rd, 2007 06:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
oriundus
Nov. 24th, 2007 12:24 am (UTC)
Oh, Dean. Oh, John. Perfect reasoning for all that we've seen; and yeah. I can see this, that last scene in the hospital. Lovely.
tigriswolf
Nov. 24th, 2007 12:36 am (UTC)
Thank you for reading!
sadelyrate
Dec. 6th, 2007 11:43 pm (UTC)
*changes her personal fanon*

Gods, yes.
So much yes.

Oh, John... I can see where your sons get their issues. *hugs the Winchesters*

You should definitely post a link to this in the_backroads. Because John. John. *adores*

tigriswolf
Dec. 7th, 2007 02:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!
saberivojo
Dec. 8th, 2007 07:09 am (UTC)
It makes sense doesn't it. Still, very hard to read. I love that Dean will be the one to save Sam. I am sure that Sam will save Dean. Yup. It is going happen.

Jeeze, what a dilema for John huh?
tigriswolf
Dec. 8th, 2007 02:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading!
ficwriter1966
Dec. 8th, 2007 01:58 pm (UTC)
That's just stunningly gorgeous. Every word perfect. This goes straight into Memories! Thank you for sharing.
tigriswolf
Dec. 8th, 2007 02:53 pm (UTC)
Thank _you_ so much for reading!
calijirl5150
Apr. 19th, 2011 07:24 pm (UTC)
I really hate John in this - I mean Sam is still his son & It's not his fault what the YED did to him when he was a baby GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
tigriswolf
Apr. 19th, 2011 10:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading.
nagi_schwarz
Apr. 22nd, 2013 05:12 am (UTC)
John's lack of hope in Sam kinda breaks my heart, but his faith in Dean makes up for all of it.
tigriswolf
Apr. 22nd, 2013 04:06 pm (UTC)

Thanks for reading!
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( 33 comments — Leave a comment )

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